Eye Rolls and Side Eyes: Mariah Whips Out Her Jazz Hands

Friday, January 16, 2009

Don't laugh. Mariah Carey wants to make a musical about her life. Okay, guffaw a bit. I don't know where this bullshit "idea" matriculated from but it's wild. Rumor has it that Mariah wants Leona Lewis to play her in a musical that is to outline her life from Long Islander to mega diva deity, with all the music, glitter, divorce and marriages in between. While it sounds like this would make a glitzy ball gown infested spectacle, and my lousy self will probably be shamelessly front in center singing along to a show tune version of "Dreamlover"...but I was seriously hoping Mariah would save this type of deal till she was illegible for AARP or at least follow in the footsteps of Lena Horne's one woman show from the 80's, you know when she's getting ready to retire. But no, someone's being a little pushy. Mariah apparently was talking to nameless musical producers over the holidays and agreed to start working on the project as soon as...well, this year. Mariah thinks Leona would be a perfect fit because of her "exotic" looks and that she could pull off her eight-octave vocal range. And it gets even wackier, Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria and Vanessa Hudgens (the Disney twat from the High School Musical franchise) have also been in talks to play Mariah as well...It's too early in the morning for me to digest this kind of mess, my side-eye is rolling so far over I'm afraid my eyes are going to pop out of their sockets.


  1. Bahahaa.

    Oh, you're being serious.

    Wow. I suppose it could work in theory. I mean, who would have thought a musical with all ABBA music with a completely asinine story would work as well as it did? But still -- didn't she try this once before with "Glitter" and it failed miserably? I guess it would fare better if it was all her *good* music.

    Considering the state of Broadway, I won't knock it till it's actually a go...I guess.

  2. LOL...that's true, in theory it can work like you said with ABBA, but I just think its too damn soon for this to happen, I mean, it needs to be a long enough time because frankly her life hasn't really ended and it's not like she's nursing home ready. An Aretha musical I could see, but Mariah, no. I feel like such a bad Mariah Carey fan by dissing this LOL

    Thearte geek here! Broadway is in need of something...didn't they 'Hairspray' just stop? But I think they should find something else, but take what you can get, I guess

    And it just was announced that Mariah is in the studio working on a new album...I seriously think she should have that darn baby and then go back to work, she needs a long break after E=MC2

  3. True story - I'm a Mariah fan too, but like you said - this is too soon. Has she confirmed she's pregnant? Did I miss that?

    OMG - Im a huge Broadway cheese too! I know they were trying to get "Moulin Rouge" on Broadway a few years ago. I'd pay to see that. But the word on that has since hushed, unfortunately. I'm psyched for "West Side Story" coming back in February. I'ma try and get there during the first week. ::gushes::

    BTW - if they DID do an Aretha musical, I would so be there first row with popcorn.

  4. Broadway shows are closing left and right...what the hell is she thinking! And my fave, the Vanessa "HOdgens" (cuz she's a ho, fo sho) comment. Disney twat! Haha you make me laugh so hard I think I might pee my pants! LMAO!


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