The Gospel: My Open Letter To Kylie Minogue

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Once again the gay boy that lives inside of me has leaped out upon hearing news of Kylie Minogue's mini-US Tour...but here's why I'm not "shaking and crying" like I should be...though I did inhale sharply when I heard the news scaring half of my Spanish class into thinking I had an asthma attack...

Dear Miss Kylie Minogue,

First off, I've been a huge fan since the Impossible Princess era, and have been one of few caramel colored sistas out there that would even admit to loving the daylights out of "Better The Devil You Know"...but aside from all that I'm pleased as Crystal Light fruit punch that you are finally touring the States. The States have not been kind to you and its disheartening that your single, "All I See" floundered. Still I support, as did other Americans, but I'm a little disgruntled at the venue choices and the blatant skipping of the Southern parts of the US of A. Chicago is fine...New York, they obviously always get everything and Oakland...you'll get the San Fran crowd no doubt...but no Texas? No Florida? No 'Bama? Now, I know you probably don't think the Southern part of the US is glamorous at all. And yes, we usually have bad hot make-up melting weather, say "y'all" a lot and have a tendency to be a little rambunctious and fertile (due to the heat) but there are some fabulous Southerners who want nothing more than to throw on a showgirl outfit and mime along to "On A Night Like This". To cut the chase, why can't you make a pit stop in the Lone Star State, one of the biggest states in all of the US? Yes, I know Texas is the breeding ground for ignorant folks (see our current Governor Rick Perry, former President, George W. Bush and my past roommates) but we all don't play kicker music, want to be separated from the Union and walk around in cowboy boots...some of us have taste. And some of us have been dying to see you live. So yes, I'm griping, but just a tad. I understand that you have bigger and better venues to flounce and sprinkle glitter dust around in but why are you dissing the South, my dear Kylie? Hopefully the rumors of you adding more dates will come to light, and then all will be forgiven so I can grab my ticket. In the meantime, while you make up your mind, I will spin Let's Get To It, in hopes that you'll cross over into Southern state lines.

Sincerely,
The Audio Diva

Yes, I know, she's not going to read this, but the activist in me just had to rear it's Angela Davis afro.

2 comments:

  1. If she does come to Texas, I'm in. I bet her shows are fantastic! Hot gay guys galore...would be fun!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fierce! You go girl. I've seen Kylie live almost a dozen times and she brings it each and every time. You could always catch the Greyhound to Vegas! No, I didn't think so...

    X

    ReplyDelete

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