Adventures In Irrelevancy: Turn Around Bright Literal Eyes

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Turn around bright eyes...Bonnie Tyler's 1983 classic, "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" is a drunk attention whore's karaoke dream. It has all of the over-dramatic singing, climatic instrumentation and intangible lyrics to be the perfect candidate for a howling good time. While the song has been butchered, mangled and covered by many drunks, wannabe showmen and a MIA Nikki French, the song does put a little hot water bottle over your heart for sheer over-the-top campiness. As the song is classic, the music video is truly an bizarre art form in itself. As it is 1983 and ideas (and probably budget) were limited, the video seems like a bad nightmare that was conjured up after eating bad eggs before bedtime. In the vid, Bonnie sees glowing eye people and dancing ninjas, but what does that all mean? Thank goodness for the literal version of "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" because it explains what we have been wondering for YEARS, especially as to why Bonnie was running like a loon throughout that big house...seems like homegirl, had some *ahem* private business to take care of.

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